Autism Therapy: Parent Therapy

When a mom (or a dad) takes their child to be diagnosed for the first time, it can be one of the most devastating days of his or her life.  I remember all too well.  I was sitting in Dr. Tatiana Dubrovski’s office in Miami, Florida when she dropped the bombshell on me.  She told me that with the right autism therapy, our son Chase might have a productive life.  However, he was 7 years old when he was diagnosed so we would need to do some catch-up work.  I don’t remember much after that.  She could have told me that my hair was on fire and it would have mattered little.  My child had autism.  What in the heck was I going to do?!?  I knew something was going on.  She’d give us a pill and he’d be fine.  But AUTISM???

She stuck a card in my hand.  Told me about an on-line parent support group.  Gave me some brochures.  And told me that everything was going to be ok.  I sure didn’t feel ok.  I felt sick.  I felt like I was going to die.  I felt like my baby had just died.  How was I going to tell my husband that his oldest son had autism?  How was I going to explain to family, when I didn’t understand it myself?  My head was spinning.  If someone touched me, I was going to topple over.

And I looked at my precious baby.  My seven-year-old son.  Who this morning, could have been president.  Now, he’s going to need autism therapy and special classes.  And what about his little brother?  Was he ok?  OMG!  I needed some parent therapy!

I went on line and started searching key words:  autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, autism spectrum disorder, etc.  Sensory disorders.  I went crazy on the computer for weeks.  Skipping meals (great diet…wouldn’t recommend it, though).  I joined on-line support groups.  They were the best parent therapy!  Parents told me to relax.  I was a typical newly diagnosed mom.  Information overload.  Wanting to know everything and anything.  And working myself through my grief.  I realized that I hadn’t cried very much.  Wow.  All of those feelings are coming back again.  Gulp….   It was a very dark time.  I really felt alone.  We all do.  No one knows our pain at that point.  No one knows how much we hurt for our baby!

Until one day…

The sun shines again.  And we realize that our baby will be ok.  We take him to therapy.  We take him to school.  We become involved with other parents just like us.  They have been there.  Maybe its a support group.  A coffee group.  Mother’s Day Out. With me, it was another mom in Chase’s class.  She was farther along in her journey.  But she was able to help me in ways that I cannot begin to explain.  Alicia was an angel!

So, if you are a parent of a newly-diagnosed child, I urge you to join a yahoo group in your area.  There are so many to choose from.  The state of Mississippi has a wonderful support group, of which I am a member:  ASD-MS.  Talk about parent therapy!  We talk about everything from vaccinations to state legislation to special diets and melt downs.  You have to find the group that helps you.  And if you need a group that meets face-to-face, ask your school.  There’s bound to be one in your area.  If not, start one!  Advertise in your local paper.  And ask your church if you can meet there.

We parents tend to put all of our focus on our children.  Almost to a fault.  We tend to forget ourselves.  I know I do it a lot.  As does my husband.  However, if we are (as they say) “broke down at the curb”, who is going to take care of our kids?  Who will take them to autism therapy?  Who will advocate for them, if you aren’t around?   We need to take better care of ourselves, and that means our mental health as well.  By the way, I don’t just preach it, I practice it.  I’ll see you at our local support group meeting tonight.  6:30 sharp!

Tags: autismtherapy, autism education, autism information, parent therapy